It may seem that everyone else has it easy. Maybe it’s just my perspective at the moment. No one tells you that your whole life will change after one day; one incident. I’m not one to share my personal life with anyone. I’m usually the quietest one in the room. The discourse in my mind constantly debates whether I have it hard or whether I should be thankful. The truth is no one has it easy. Everyone goes through different things and we’re surprised with new challenges every day. There are some days I struggle to stay positive and I find that to be one of the biggest challenges of my life.
I’ve been hard to contact and harder to see these days. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m too busy for them. I really wish I could stretch the time. I wish I could duplicate myself so I could be in two places at once. Reality is harsh at times and there’s no way around it. We learn as we go through it. We find out who is there to support us. We learn who truly empathises and understands. I’ve been told countless times that it can’t be all work and no play. I laughed in response because I didn’t want to share my life story in explanation as to why that hasn’t always been an option for me.
I always tell myself not to complain. I hate negativity. I hate complaining. I hate complainers. I mean, what good is complaining if you’re not working to change anything? It feels good to get that out of my system. I try to see the positive in every situation. I try to share that positivity with everyone. I listen to everyone. I will try to help as much as I can. All I ask in return is that you stay kind, you stay loving, that you stay positive. I don’t care about the material. I just want to be happy. Show me that you care. Show me that you can empathise. Show me that you think before you speak. Speak softly and lovingly.
I struggle with religion. I wish I could say that the act of prayer could make you a more virtuous person but that would be a lie. I’ve met “religious” people who seem to lack human values. They don’t know what kindness is. They don’t understand what peace is. They don’t understand what right conduct is. This frustrates me. When people try to preach religion to me I look at their behaviour, at their life and whether they can follow those exact teachings. If what you’re teaching is to find inner peace, then why are you complicating simple things? If you’re teaching love, why fight with everyone?
I’ve been described as “calm”, “too quiet”, “too critical”, and “too analytical” and I neutrally accept that. I see things differently than other people and it frustrates me to see injustice. I know that I could have it much worse. I am thankful for what I have and for everything the universe has given me. The obstacles have made me stronger and each experience teaches me empathy. There are one or two people who know exactly what I’m dealing with right now and they ask me how I do it without breaking down. The only way to get through life’s greatest challenges is to keep a positive focus. Regardless of the people you deal with, whether they are discriminatory, hateful, rude, or negative, if your focus remains positive, their negativity cannot affect you.
Be there for people when they’re too proud to ask for help. Empathise with people. Learn to celebrate successes with one another and to share your happiness with everyone you meet. I write this vaguely of course because I don’t like people knowing the exact details of my life. I’ve gotten quite skilled at hide and don’t seek. The truth is I don’t want to explain.
Sujaya Devi 